Beyond Conformity

My personal saree story 

Hello there! If you're new to our story, let me give you a little background into my past. From the age of 19, I've worked as a television and stage show anchor across the South of India. This gave me several opportunities to adorn myself in beautiful and grand outfits, especially... as you might have already guessed it - sarees. From light and airy chiffons to rich and heavy raw silks, I've worn them all. And the aesthetic happened to stick. But it would be remiss to mention that things haven't always been smooth sailing. Despite my love for these sarees staying consistent through this past decade and a half, there's one thing that's seemed to yo-yo quite a bit... my weight. Now, while I wasn't particularly bothered by it, I was certainly made to feel terrible by people around me.

"Don't wear chiffon, Divya! It makes you look bigger."

"Wear smaller borders; it makes you look thin and tall!"

"Only wear blouses with a narrow neckline, so you look less broad!"

"Hide your arms! Sleeveless is a big no-no!"

"Avoid heels! You're too tall as it is!"

While I do consider myself to be quite thick-skinned, I'd be lying if I said that these small comments, from well-meaning folk, didn't leave their scars, having me itching away at the scabs to rid myself of any insecurities.

How many times have we, as women, been made to feel small or 'less than' for not fitting into conventional beauty standards? Why is it that we're expected to fit into a mold, and no matter what we do, or where we are, we never manage to seamlessly blend in? 

If one is dark-skinned, they're given unsolicited advice to wear darker or bolder colors. If one is fair-skinned, they're asked to wear pastels or lighter shades. If one is short, they're asked to avoid broad borders, and if they're tall, it's vice versa. While I understand the importance of styling and wearing what may flatter one's body, what takes more precedence is the importance of wearing what one feels their most confident and beautiful in! Over time, as I grew older, I realized that it didn't matter to me what others thought of my body. What mattered was how I felt in the garment, and because I wear my clothes, my clothes don't wear me.

Today, despite battling the bulge, I'll still rock a chiffon saree unapologetically and battle unrealistic beauty standards while feeling my most beautiful, and leave my lovely husband, who is also the mentor and advisor of Dvij, showering me with compliments.

And so, dear readers, I urge you to wear what you want with courage, wear your confidence on your sleeve, and if you choose to go sleeveless, wear it on your heart. Stand tall and dare to stand out, because I promise you, from one person fighting the war of beauty to another, there is no one who can tell you what you wear best, because the best you wear is what you feel the best in. Stay fearless. Stay fabulous. Stay boldly stylish forever.